I didn’t want to, to leave the cool interior on this muggy day; to climb into a muggy old car with no A/C to swim in the late-May Long Island sound. I definitely didn’t want to go alone; no friend or co-swimmer or cheerleader. What if I just went out on my deck and just brought the bathing suit in? What if I just put it on? What if I just got into my car and drove to the beach, that’s all? What if I just walked into the water, freezing, freezing! I swore a whispering curse, looking at the children playing and staying on the beach because the water was too cold and choppy with wild evening breezes. Two lone swimmers; triathlon women were finishing up their strokes. One pointed out the one mile distance – I nodded – scary – eventually? Do-able. What if I just dunked my head – oh! Maybe just one or two strokes – that’s it. I managed to do about a quarter mile with many breaks, back strokes, panting; easier going in the tidal pull down the beach – rough going, with a strong wind, current holding me back on the return. Now, how did I feel? How would I have felt if I hadn’t gone?